Sunday, 4 November 2012

Gay Superheroes: Manpussy


In the 2008 animated DVD movie, Bash Helmet's Round the World Cruise, our eponymous hero came across any number of his fellow felon fingerers, including Thai orphan, On-mee Bak.

Otherwise known by his superhero epithet Manpussy, On-mee was raised on the streets of Thailand by a pack of feral cats.

Manpussy is another of the international gay superheroes Bash Helmet
encountered in the DVD animation, Bash Helmet's Round the World Cruise
He soon became very popular around the narrow passageway in which he entertained cruising tourists with his incredible cat-like flexibility. Whenever On-mee took a fall, he always landed on his back with his ankles round his ears.

One night, On-mee foiled a mugging by the criminal Gang Bangkok and became targeted by their leader who ordered his men to shoot up the boy's alley. But the plucky young lad survived and decided to become a full-time crimefighter.

Dressing in a colourful cat costume, he vowed,

 “Crime is a heavy burden for the good men of Thailand. Manpussy is here to take their load from them”

and so another international gay superhero soon revealed himself.

Naturally, before Bash had completed his cruise, he made absolutely sure that Manpussy had introduced him to all the delights of the Pacific Rim.

Monday, 22 October 2012

Fingering Felons: Mr Pride

Dr Jekyll & Mr Pride are actually two men in one body.
But not in a fun way.
Of all the events that attract legions of gay and lesbian fans, the Pride festival, whether in San Francisco, London, Rio - wherever it's held - is a notorious hunting ground for a felon Bash Helmet has fingered more than once.

Experienced Helmeteers are always on the look out for the notorious Dr Jekyll & Mr Pride.

Jekyll first appeared in the 1970s, a scientist firmly in the closet who developed a fluid to release the gay man deep inside him. He drank his 'queerum' instead of injecting it as he hated the feel of a prick going into him (ironically, something he'd love once he'd changed).
In London Mr Pride not only enjoyed the
changing of the guard. He also joined the Beefeaters.

The queerum transformed the meek Jekyll into the moustachioed Mr Pride.

Now cool, confident and cocksure, Mr Pride quickly turned to the dark side of man.

So be alert as Mr Pride is not easy to spot.

Look for these clues: dressed outrageously, dancing like a madman and flirting with every guy there ... he definitely blends in completely with the crowd.

Saturday, 22 September 2012

Gay Heroes: Shamrock Hudson

Shamrock Hudson's true identity was well known
in Dublin's gay bars but a conspiracy of silence
ensured it was protected. If he was referred to
at all, it was in hushed tones, and only as Doris Gay

As Bash Helmet grew and grew over the years, so the challenge of keeping on top of so many supervillains became too much for just one man, albeit the world's first gay superhero.

Time and again Bash needed a helping hand, beyond that offered by his friendly fag hags on a quiet Friday.

One more than one occasion he got one from Ireland's own leading man, Seamus Hudson. Seamus had the perfect cover.

To the world he was a rich, successful actor from Dublin who was linked to a string of beautiful women. But behind the facade, Seamus was really the country's premier superhomo-hero, Shamrock Hudson.

Shamrock Hudson was just one of the international gay heroes who featured in the 2008 animated movie, Bash Helmet's Round the World Cruise.

Bash teamed up with Shamrock during a visit to Ireland where together they tackled the evil leader of the banshees, the Screaming Queen. Before he left the country, Shamrock Hudson took Bash to a traditional Irish bar and introduced our hero to the strong, black, creamy-headed Guinness ... but Bash never did catch his first name.

Although the film never found a theatre distributor, it attracted repeated releases on DVD, principally due to the significant part of Shamrock Hudson cropping up in almost every scene.




Saturday, 15 September 2012

Fingering Felons: Belle End rears her head ... and Tess Tease

Most recently encountered in the Tweetventures of Bash Helmet and Flick Faster, the latter's arch nemesis Belle End and her partner in crime Tess Tease once made a successful grab for the crown jewels only for them to turn out to be fake. 

Despite being caught red-handed there was no way they were ever going straight.

Belle and Tess are as famous for their criminal boobs as their daylight snatches

Saturday, 8 September 2012

Fingering Felons. Right up Bash's Street

From the very outset it was clear that Bash Helmet's enemies would always have significant parts, although none would have the power that Bash exerted through his helmet.

While each and every one of them hid a unique weapon in their armoury, their collective willingness to display them at the drop of a hat made them formidable foes who Bash did well to take down one at a time. Not to say that he would ever turn his back on a group onslaught.

Among the most unpredictable is Fagracadabra. Once a struggling stage magician, he made a pact with the demon Mephister to gain supernatural powers.

Whenever Bash is confronted by this camp conjuror, Fagracadabra just spits out his magic phrase,

“Gay Presto”

and then he either whips out something unexpected from his sleeve (or trouser leg) or releases a powerful discharge from the tip of his wand.

Unfortunately there is no existing mug shot of Fagracadabra as, with his quick disappearing act, Bash has never got a decent facial from him despite the numerous times he exploded all over him.

Bash always expected Fagracadabra to explode in his face - but it never came



Wednesday, 15 June 2011

Introducing Bash Helmet. The gay hero who's coming down hard on criminals

The world’s first gay superhero, Bash Helmet, was created in June 1941 by William 'Florrie' Mendelson while he was a young lieutenant stationed at an army base near Brighton, England. Each night, after lights out, Florrie loved to excite his privates by sneaking into their barracks and telling them fantastical stories in order to raise their morale.

His tales centred around the heroic Justin Nicely, an investigative hairdresser who possessed a magical helmet. When Justin rubbed it, he swelled to twice his size and his muscles grew firm and strong. Accessorising with a tasteful purple costume, Justin called himself Bash Helmet and took to the streets, coming down hard on criminals.


Left: Florrie Mendelson            Right: Florrie Mendelson

Word of Bash Helmet's exploits spread throughout the army base and Florrie soon found himself giving oral recitations in the officers' mess. Colonel Neville Hawthorne, the camp commander, had connections to an American publishing house that was producing a comic called Tales to Excite.

Hawthorne radioed details of Bash's adventures to the publishers who then employed artists to draw them. Early sketches of Bash depicted the hero as aggressive, bulky and hirsute but the editors worried that readers would mistake him for a lesbian. So his appearance was refined.

Right: A rejected sketch of Bash Helmet

Originally, Florrie’s Bash was an Englishman from the fictional village of Uppham-cum-Hardy but the publishers took the decision to make Bash an American as they felt it would broaden his appeal.In October 1941, Bash Helmet was introduced to the world in Tales to Excite issue 27. The debut story explained how Justin first came across his helmet in Greece and then returned to the United States to fight crime.




Bash Helmet’s first appearance in Tales to Excite number 27


Bash Helmet. The gay superhero who's out ... to save the world. His History in Briefs: The 1940s Part II

After his successful launch in Tales to Excite number 27, the following issues showed Bash Helmet getting to grips with the seedy underbelly of organised crime and grappling with gangsters.

The new hero proved a massive hit and copies of these comics were found under beds and in public toilets across the United States.

Reacting to the events taking place at Pearl Harbour in December, an editorial decision was taken to tell tales of Bash fighting the Nazis. As America's involvement in the war grew, so did the popularity of Bash Helmet - and so did the number of gay men enlisting into the army. Ever keen to swell its ranks and realising that this was a large section of men it hadn’t touched on before, the military used Bash in a recruitment campaign to encourage more gay men to join in the War Effort.

Soon there were whole squadrons comprised of homosexuals desperate to get their hands on a German Panzer. Some of Bash’s phrases from the comics were adopted as slogans by the squaddies, including,        

“Watch your backs, Hunnies!”

and

“We’re out ... to save the World!” 
The most popular enemy of Bash during the war-era comics was Diva Braun (right), a brutal lesbian Nazi from Titz in Germany who specialised in SS & M.

She and Bash had a number of confrontations over the years until her eventual demise at the hands of Hitler himself when she attempted to overthrow the F├╝hrer, kill all the males and rename the country ‘Hermany’.